I Was Scared to Dream

I was scared to chase my dreams. I was terrified people were going to look at this blog and think, “What is she trying to become?” I felt I wasn’t good enough to write or to talk about Jesus. I had all these negative thoughts running in my mind. For weeks, I had my post scheduled out in excel spreadsheet, and all I needed to do was to post one photo and follow a bunch of people. Every single time I hit the blue button to follow, my heart raced more.

Here I was putting myself in this vulnerable spot to pursue my dream and I was shaking. I still am. It is hard to put yourself out there and chase your dreams. If it was easy, everyone would do it. It takes a special heart and mind to get up and say, “Today is my day. Today I will put my thoughts into action and take on this challenge.” So I did. It was time I no longer pondered at the thought of being a blogger, it was time to be one.

My biggest fear rooted in the fact that I haven’t always followed Jesus the way I do now. I didn’t grow up going to church on Sunday mornings or praying before each meal. I definitely didn’t know how to read a devotion — let alone write one. But the Lord had patience with me. When I arrived at Spring Arbor University, I didn’t know any worship songs, not even “Oceans”. I know someone just opened their eyes a little wider at that sentence, so I’ll say it again. I didn’t even know the song “Oceans”. The devil almost had me in his eyes forever until I found SAU. His grip was getting tighter, but I found a place I call home where the Father gives His love abundantly.

Being a new Christian and embarking this faith journey much later than my peers at SAU, I felt that I couldn’t share the thoughts Jesus was giving me to tell you. I thought I wasn’t qualified. Which is why I was scared to put “Godly woman” in my bio. It took me so long to become one, how was I going to tell other girls how to do the same. That’s when it hit me. I came late into my faith journey to save others. If I turned my life around at age 19, you can turn your eyes on Jesus at any age. Jesus doesn’t turn away from us no matter how old we are. He sits in the Heavenly Throne patiently, waiting for us, just like we wait for Him.

Now, I find myself screaming the lyrics to “Oceans”, reading devotions almost everyday, and spreading the Word each day. I am no perfect Christian, there is never an earthly perfect person. We find our perfect in Jesus and His perfect love.

It’s okay to chase your dreams and to be scared at the thought of it, but don’t let it define you. You are not fear. You are not timid. You are a warrior. You are what Jesus defines you. If he put that dream into your mind, don’t shy away from it. Chase it. Don’t let other people tell you no. Keep away from the Devil’s words saying you are not good enough. Find the words from Jesus telling you to keep going. He believes and you. Find your passion and run with it, have endurance with Godliness, and build your support tribe along the way.

Turning dreams into action

  1. Write them down and post it where you will see it everyday.
  2. Build a supportive group that pushes you to chase your dreams.
  3. Spend time with Jesus and listen to Him for guidance.